My Marriage Is Over, Where Do I Go From Here?

Posted on November 30th, 2007 by Guy Lewis

Here are some thoughts about where to go once the dust has settled and your marriage is finally over.

First of all, you need time, really, you need time to recapture who you are, how much of you was lost in the natural compromise of a relationship, and perhaps for some a lot of loss because too much was compromised.

If you find yourself desparately looking at dating agencies, try to think again, If you jump in too soon, what is that about?

Are you trying to prove to yourself or others you CAN have a relationship, all is not lost, you arent going to be left on the shelf as you start to look your age?

Spend some time finding out who you really are again. What are the things you like to do? Put more effort into finding and nurturing friends that are there for you as much as you are there for them, and not for just moaning about each other’s ex’s. develop a network of friends so that you can begin to feel grounded, and let the other things happen naturally.

For when a person you discover you would like to have a relationship comes along you will be better prepared for it, you will be more genuine, and hopefully less likely to spend hours bending their ear about your terrible mistake marrying your ex.This isnt easy to do in the light of having a failed marriage. Your self-esteem is probably rock bottom and you are full of uncertainty about what is going to happen in the future. Is there going to be any one there with you when you are in your twighlight days?

The most important advice anyone can give to you at this time is to not rush into a new relationship. Take you time to resolve your old one and move on. Take time to see a counsellor and talk through what happened and how you feel about it. Identify and accept any mistakes you may have done to contribute to the break up.

Did you try to keep it going when it was never going to work?
Did you instigate the breakup yourself and am now wondering why ?

A counsellor should be able to give you their honest thoughts on their observations of you as an individual. These may help you move on and close this part of your life down, ready for the next.