Thoughts On Surviving A Marriage Breakup

Posted on November 30th, 2007 by Guy Lewis

Here are some thoughts I had a few years back as the dust started to settle on my own marriage break up & divorce.

I realised eventually that freedom is a very large part of the positive outcome of my separation.

I feel free; I feel the world is again out there for me to choose with little interference, what I do with it. I have been given a second chance to define my life and do exactly what I want with it.

I do not feel particularly constrained by being a father but held back by a need to be financially secure. I see however that divorce can constrain people to agreements and impact on their freedom in other ways.

I am determined that my ex’s decision will be hers and not mine to live as well.Considering Freedom from other’s viewpoints I can see there others who are constrained by relationships and by financial commitments they put on themselves.

I see others who are trapped in relationships because they cannot see how they can escape from them; perhaps feeling cosy and find the outside much harder so stay for the comfort of what ‘is known’ I have felt suppressed in my employers in the past, being held back by awkward managers.

I recall finding an escape route from one such employer and feeling like running (which I did) along a busy road in London. In dreams the feeling of flying must be an expression of freedom, contrasting with the frustration of not being able to run fast enough such as running through treacle in other dreams.

Surely a person can only be themselves, express their true being and identity when they feel free and in control of their life. By putting defences in place we constrain ourselves from being our true selves, denying ourselves our own freedom.