Is Your Partner Suffering From A Midlife Crisis, Or Is There Infidelity Involved? (Part Three)
Is Your Partner Suffering From A Midlife Crisis, Or Is There Infidelity Involved? Part Three
Back in Part Two we asked what can you do about your partner’s situation? It maybe OK to find out the truth, what to do with it is another matter.
Well, some seek out proof using video cameras and private detectives. Maybe you don’t want to take things this far.
Perhaps in that case you might want to sit your partner down and explain clearly the difference in them by comparing recent behaviour with past behaviour.
In this way you avoid confronting them on what is really happening and discuss the evidence that is clear.
It will be a good time to be assertive and stand firm by looking after yourself. You may be looking at a person who you thought you knew who has recently (maybe temporarily) changed their priorities in life.
Put a priority on explaining what you will stand for and what you find unacceptable. Don’t major on explaining your own feelings.
Your own feelings may anger them, they may see that as you suppressing them or trying to make them feel guilty for their current behaviour.
I believe it is fine to tell them you love them (if you do) but avoid showing an emotional weakness for now. Avoid also acting like a parent. Just be clear about what you want from a relationship and what you don’t want.
Tell them you want to review how things are going in a few weeks time but explain very clearly what you want from a relationship and what you don’t..
Your partner may reject and be angry at your assertion. But after a few days may start to realise you have needs too. They might have ‘forgotten’ you have needs by being so consumed by their own issues and needs.
Be clear about what you want from life and from a relationship. I see many people who’s partner’s midlife crisis becomes a need for them to review and understand clearly what they want from life and for the future as well, which is not such a bad thing for anyone really.
Separate yourself from the person for a while and think about what it is that you want from life. Clearly loosing a partner, which may ultimately be what is going to happen to you, will be a great loss but consider living with a partner who you love but who doesn’t love you and abuses the situation.
The person you have woken up with every morning for many years maybe a person you don’t know anymore and that isn’t part of your future.
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Guy
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Filed under: Mid-Life Crisis, Relationship Break-up
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