I’m experimenting with a new way to write today. I want to write it as it comes rather than collect and organise, which may work for other articles I want to publish to you.

Nostalgia is something that once in a while really hurts. Its not something I can put a finger on and say, “owch” like, I miss a person, or I wish I had done something specific 20 years or so ago.

But its a general feeling of missing so, so many opportunities in my life that I want to just run out there and gather up all the remnants of the past and sit looking at them.

It wells up inside me until I see myself sitting on this planet with absolutely no idea why I am here and what to do about it. Yet I feel that there is so much, so much that I could, and can do. So why am I not doing it, why have I never found it?

I feel like trying really hard to go back in time even though that sounds so absurd, then, when it does I feel like working out what it is that I need to do to create something that feels like what I am missing.

Its almost like a ‘past life’ experience where I feel there are or would have been so many other ways my life could have run. I sit here now thinking, am I watching it, STILL, watching it flow away, flow out of me when there is so much more I want to do.

What is it that I really want to do with my life? have I really found that yet? will I? how long will it take to happen? is my path right now the path for me to take, or is it just another diversion, just another ‘take one step at a time’ not knowing where I will end up, and if this will be anywhere nearer something I can take a deep breath and say, this was my destiny.

I have had some chances in my life to do some interesting things with it. Im sure we all have and I can imagine that for a lot of us, many of those chances are not even realized. We never saw them coming and we never saw them go either.

So how does that help me? how does that help you if you feel the same way?

Well, maybe. Maybe we don’t have to try that hard. Maybe we just need to know who we really are and be passionate about that. Don’t let anything else get in the way of you being who you are all your life. Don’t stop being you. Do more of you, make more of you. Then, that destiny will come, because you certainly won’t be able to see it come, or grab it if you can’t see it go away. If you are being passionately honest with yourself, you will FALL into it. You won’t need to grab it, you won’t need to hang on to it as it flies by.

That’s the best I can offer myself today. And to you too.

Fall into your opportunities big and small and ride them as they take you on your wild journey to your destiny.

I’m off to see the B52’s

Filed under: Mid-Life Crisis, Philosophical

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