I sit here, weeks since I have been able to write. My life is as ever busy with emotional, professional and practical lists of ‘to do’s . I see an image of a mother and father with their children on the beach and it reminds me of how, more than a lot of things I can think of, if there ever was a way to create a family for my children with a mum and a dad again, I wish I could do it.

Of course this is impossible, I wouldn’t touch my ex with a barge pole so that is irrelevant. But my point is, after four years of separation, I still feel an immense loss of the family unit for my children.

My youngest is almost at an age where her years in a separated family are more than that whilst her mother was around. I can never forgive what she did to their young lives, yet accept if people don’t want to be together, its a very sorry situation but can be for the best.

I just wish I could create for them a childhood that they can look back on and not feel like they were torn between two different collections of photo albums.

Filed under: Midlife Thoughts

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