My children

Posted on October 7th, 2009 by Ruben

I think about my children all the time as they are so much part of my life. When There
comes a time to truely reflect on my life i would like to remind myself that it could have been very different. I left long hours commuting and work to be closer to my family. When my wife left, i stayed with the children. For most men unfortunately they end up a part time parent at this point or because of the stress and culture of work are estranged from their children in my opinion.
Sure they are hard sometimes and i also do love my space but conversly i am looking forward to my grand children if i am lucky. I also wish i could be there for my children as they grow old. To be with them & speak with them & to care for them. After a pause to dry my eyes i am thinking about how this could be achieved in ways other than being artificially kept alive in a pickle jar with battery leads sticking out of my head like something from out of Docor Who.

Well, maybe some sort of legacy that is there for hem later in life rather than having to be dumped on them maybe half way through their life ( if i am lucky to live that long). Also i would like to write to them more, write as if i amspeaking to them, a book that can be kept by them for ever as ‘a little bit of me’ that they can keep and open if they need ‘me’ . This is something i have done in the past. I wrote to at least my eldest before she was born. The books havent been written into since i was getting over their mother leaving and i think maybe somewhat stained by my feelings at the time rather than thinking for them.

So. This is my most constructive thought of the day. A new book for each of them, a little piece of me if ever they want me, with consistency of love, unconditionly, with thoughts about life & the risksand rewards it provides. Time to look for suitable books for this job.