Make A Change Today For Your Tomorrow

Posted on April 17th, 2008 by Ruben

Do You Live In The Present Whilst Keeping An Eye On The Future?

Or Do You Live In The Present Whilst Ignoring The Future?

It is hard to balance what you do today, for today and what you do for tomorrow.

For example, would you bow all your savings on a holiday and justify it by saying you may not be alive next year?

Or would you be more cautious and save some more and take out only that which you need to go take a modest break ensuring you always have some cash for unexpected financial events.

Take this to an extreme:

if we all lived for today as if we were off to die tomorrow soon we would have nothing of our lives left anyway. Our families, our assets and our health.

So how do we balance living for today and considering the future?

Well, consider some thoughts I have on the subject. Eating a fattening cake for example is about pleasing yourself today at the cost of tomorrow, unless you have a great routine of being able to eat a cake on one day a week and not indulging until the same time next week. Its easy to feed our troubled self-esteem’s with short term stimulants than actually getting around to working through what we need to do to build up our well-being and be happy and fully content.

Its about making sure that you don’t live for today in a way that costs too much for tomorrow, in terms of health, relationships & your well being. You gain the extra bonus of building up your self-esteem again too.

Often hear of those brave enough to sell up their house and travel the world. The are confident enough to expect that they will have a job when they need one in reasonable time. This is a great example of how people choose to make a big difference to their self fulfillment whilst carefully managing the plan for the future.

Do go travelling and seeing the world they have to manage their finances to make sure they don’t end up at a financial cliff edge with no where to go. Those that do this well return a few years down the line far more fulfilled than those that they left behind. The comparisons sometimes are very telling. Others who stayed home look to defend themselves by saying how much they have done whilst actually have just clocked up a couple more years of living for each day with no thought for the future. They are a bit older and a bit fatter too.

Sure the travellers are a little less financially well off, and lost out on some promotions, but then these guys have really lived and have probably had a lot of great meaningful experiences you would not be able to replicate by jetting off somewhere for a couple of weeks with your Blackberry and laptop still in your bag.

Don’t get me wrong, if someone is genuinely content with their lives and dont want to go hunting out adventures then I can accept and praise that. But you will find that many people, if they really understood themselves, would have a desire to do something exciting or at least exilerating for themselves. If only they could admit it and then decide how.

Drugs and alcohol are good examples of living for today at the cost of tomorrow. Addicts can not think of anything but the next drink or the next fix. They know somewhere in them it isn’t doing them any good long terms but the feeling they get today and the way it probably helps them deal with their own demons keeps them coming back for more.

On a lesser scale…

What about smoking?

People smoke to please the habit. Smokers tell me it’s a calming experience and if they don’t smoke they will be more anxious. There cant be anyone around that doesn’t understand how it will affect their long term health and so will likely reduce the length of their life. Some will argue they know people who have smoked all their lives and are living at a ripe old age now, as a way to help them feel that it is not all certain death at the hands of lung cancer.. “and besides”, they say, “you could get in your car and die of a car accident tomorrow” as a way to help them further with their denial. For smokers its very much about living for today with their habit, and leaving the issue of responsibility for some time in the distant, but out of sight tomorrow.

Now I’m not just having a go at smokers here, but since we all know smoking kills, and kills more than planes, cars, alligators, hail stones and martians it’s a pretty good example to start to consider the balance of living for today at the cost of tomorrow. So, lets consider this way of thinking with some more things that those of us at midlife might want to consider and possibly review to re-set ourselves some balance in our lives.

What about your weight?

Here’s a good one. For all my thirties I was overweight. My weight changed but only to increase and not decrease. I always felt like a thin guy in a fat butt. That was because I always thought I could loose the weight whenever I wanted to, but never got around to doing so. Then one day my wife left and I lost a lot. I’ve put some back on now I am content again but its no excuse, I need to get out and exercise rather than typing all day. I need to watch what I eat, it never feels like I am pigging out, I never eat cakes, so its much about the little piece of chocolate that is pleasing me in the hear and now and is ignored and forgotten at the end of the week when I look back on what I have eaten.

What about your health & fitness?

Are you old enough for a heart attack or a stroke yet? Shouldn’t you be looking after yourself a little better? Imagine what would happen if you had a stroke tomorrow. It could mean you wouldn’t be able to speak or do stuff you love doing, even typing on your computer might be a thing of the past. Why don’t you get up at lunch time and go for a walk. Our bodies were not designed to be so stationary.

We were designed to cross continents each season. Eating berries, fruits and vegetables as well as meats. Nowadays anything processed you have on your place is just going to fill you up, nothing more. Not enough goodness to keep you healthy and the viruses and carcinogens away. So why delay? Make a little change today and soon it will add up.

What about that change of career?

Is your mind getting a bit soggy because you haven’t pushed it for years now. Something new and exiting can awaken you like you are in your twenties again. Sitting in the same old job is too easy. You can get lazy and stop being interested until the day you choose to change your future by leaving or someone else does it for you by firing you.

Take some time to think about what would really excite you and build up your self-esteem. Its not about promotion and getting more money. I remember dreaming of a lower paid job closer to home. I would have more time with my family, I wouldn’t feel so alien with them and I would have less stress and more sleep. I would also have time to take up some after work activities rather than spending most of my time in the evening traveling home.

What about your relationship?

Is it stagnant? Have you forgotten the fun of your relationship? Consider what your relationship is about today as opposed to when you first got together. There is no reason why you can’t try to get that feeling back to some degree, even if you are loaded up with new responsibilities. Either sort it out or move on or you risk staring infidelity in the face one day.

If you are not happy then have some integrity by saying you are not happy. Say it like it is (respectfully) and open it up for a discussion about what can be done to make some changes for the best. If you both don’t find a solution then maybe its time to consider when to break up. If you have kids make sure the effects are minimized, or accept living together for a longer period whilst the kids get through some important stages of their lives, although the kids will be affected by a love-less marriage.

What about your kids?

Do you see them enough? Are they turning out the way you had hoped? Are you doing things that means they will be in a better place than when you were their age? Are you transferring too many of your band habits and behaviors onto them? Do you spend enough time with them?

Children are one of the most obvious changes you will see over time. You might one day look back and find it hard to remember anything about their early lives. If that’s you, then make a change today. Get out and plan some activities with them in the evenings or weekends. If you don’t get a lot of spare time seriously consider what your priorities are. If you cant find the time for your kids then maybe you shouldn’t have been a parent in the first place. Harsh but true. Take some time to think about this.

What about your own personal fulfillment?

Are you where you wanted to be? Is what you aspire to only focused on material things when you ask yourself that question? What about your own self worth, do you need the big car and impressive house to convince others that you are important? Or can you imagine that standing with just your own life’s achievements is enough to make you feel content, and so others will probably agree too if they wish.

Those of us in midlife (and older) know better than some how our time on this planet is finite, and what that really feels like. So why don’t we just take some time out to sit and think about what is really important to us. What would we like to think at 70 or 80 about our life achievements? What would we want to see that we had done?

Well, now’s your chance. Stop denying and making excuses. Get up, set out a plan to bring the things into your life that you want to have achieved. If you don’t plan and bring them in, you will never get them done. If you delay them there will always be an excuse.

Have you got any advice you would like to share about your situation? Post a comment below.

Guy

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