Is A Coincidence A Message From Fate Or An Opportunity?

Posted on July 21st, 2008 by Ruben

Recently I was told a story about a couple who were informed that their unborn child had a high risk of suffering with Downs Syndrome.

This clearly was a nightmare situation for couples looking to have a child because of the dilemma it put them in as a couple and as individuals in terms of whether to continue with the pregnancy and risk dealing with the extra responsibility of a child who needs a lot of care and resources, or to terminate the pregnancy.

For many reasons of beliefs and personal outlook its a hard decision for anyone to make, and a very sad one at that. Only the individuals themselves will know what is right for them.

I was told that they took a day off to get out and work through what was right for them; could they take this responsibility on if the risk turned out to be reality or would it restrict their own needs and plans for the future? perhaps it would be impossible for them to consider other children? or maybe there are other responsibilities in their lives that would need to be considered also, such as looking after elderly parents.

They sat on a ferry to cross an estuary as they took a walk that afternoon and by pure chance found themselves sitting close to a couple with a Downs Syndrome child.

Later they said to my friend, “what does it mean? what should we make of that?” They were seeing the situation, the coincidence, as a message of some sort. Maybe this was a message and ‘fate’ was having something to do with what was going on for them at that very moment.

At times of hardship it is easy to take a step out of your own strength of decision making and hand it to something else, especially if the decision you need to make is particularly hard.

This, of course, got me thinking about how we take situations and coincidences. Some may see this as a sign from a god or a message from some unseen entity to tell them something. Perhaps it was telling them it was the right thing to do. Perhaps it was telling them it was the wrong thing to do.

This article has nothing to do with the choice of whether to have a Downs Syndrome child or not. What I want to express is that, as in this example, a situation or a coincidence is actually an opportunity and that any coincicence is an opportunity that is passing you by. You choice is to whether to grab it and make something of it, or watch it go by and do nothing, and so miss that opportunity and perhaps go on your way less informed about your path ahead.

Take the example above. The couple didn’t engage with the couple with the Downs Syndrome child. They just looked out the corner of their eyes probably like everyone else, and were left with their own feelings of how this impacted on their own very real dilemma.

Perhaps if they had seen this as an opportunity to quietly engage in a conversation with the couple maybe they would have found two individuals who would be very helpful to support a couple going through the same situation they had done many years before.

But the opportunity was lost and the couples went on their ways.

To me, the missed opportunity here means the couple are less informed and their path ahead is much harder to take. Now they may make the wrong decision for them by seeing this situation as a message to say yes, terminate, or conversely, no, don’t terminate the pregnancy.

Taking coincidences and seeing them as opportunities, as opposed to letting the situation tell you what to do rather than having the strength to make your own decisions is key to taking control of your life.

Leaving the decision making process to ‘fate’ is as good as going to a casino and putting your life on a bet.

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